Salutations, ladies, fellow gentlemen. Did you know that every day, over three thousand men are put in The Friendzone? It’s a staggering number, to be sure, and it’s been growing steadily larger every year. It is an outrage, and I have decided to put a stop to it. For every note this post gets, I will donate $100 dollars to anti-Friendzoning organizations and relief funds, such as The Warm Neck Foundation, which donates classy scarves to underprivileged, less-than-virile men who cannot grow epic beards of their own, and The Real Friend Zone, where abandoned gentlemen can seek refuge and human contact after unjust rejections. I’ve seen you “activist” sheep promote “feminist” causes to Equestria and back, so I know you can find a place in your hearts and on your blogs to help a fellow nerd with something that really matters. Methinks you would jump at the chance to make a real difference for once. With your help we can bring equal rights to women and gentlemen alike. Thank you ever so much for your time. Bazinga~!